Ochopika is someone I went to art school with who has recently decided to take up shirt design in the form of Woot derbies. Here are ten of my favorite submissions. I personally enjoy these very much.
If you’d like some context, click on the images to view the derby page. There you can see Ochopika’s explanation, other people’s comments, how many votes it got, and what the theme of the derby was.
So keep an eye out for her on Shirt Woot and vote for her designs!
I had never been to an Apple Store before.
I had to pinch myself…
…to prevent myself from laughing so hard.
The little brother had a defunct 80 gig iPod Classic. We were greeted by a brightly t-shirted fellow whose sole job seemed to be a greeter. We were led to another brightly t-shirted fellow who plugged in the iPod and announced it worked fine. I told him to try unplugging it.
It shut off immediately.
“Oh.”
Pause.
“Well, let’s get you an appointment at the Genius Bar.”
Genius, as in super smart IQ, and bar, as in drinking alcohol? I thought I misheard. I followed him to a brightly t-shirted woman.
“Hi guys. Let’s get you set up with an appointment at the Genius bar!”
Pinch. I hadn’t misheard.
“Sure.”
“Can I have a name and email address?” I motioned to the little brother who had remained silent this whole time as I had instructed him to. I could tell he was pinching himself as well. He was trying really hard not to be a smart ass.
“victorcarmine@live.com”
“…”
The Apple woman looked perplexed.
“Did you say yahoo.com?”
“No. Live.com. It’s for my Xbox live account.”
“…”
“Are we going to a circle of Apple hell for having a Microsoft affiliated email address?” I asked forgetting to keep my smart ass in check.
“No,” she laughed, a bit nervously I thought. I checked my peripheral vision for Matrix-style agents or Steve Job’s face.
We were given an appointment for about a half hour later. We passed children sitting on large black balls playing on computers and exited to Gamestop.
A half hour later we took a seat at the bar (the regular one, not the genius one) to wait for our turn. Large screens gave us such fun facts as “Did you know that a Mac computer has the power of two computers combined?”.
My brother couldn’t help himself, “Yeah, two crappier computers.”
My brother may be eleven, but he is pretty smart. I saw his logic, “Technically, yeah, any computer could have the power of two computers with half of the hardware behind them. So technically, what they’re saying isn’t wrong…”
“Is stupid.”
“Correct,” I turned my attention away from the failed propaganda to the computer at the ‘bar’. Surprisingly, we could browse the web. After refraining from doing anything evil, we were called over to the more pretentious of the two bars. Yet another brightly colored t-shirted guy greeted us. This was starting to sound like a joke…
“A guy and a girl walk into a bar with and iPod.”
…with…
Q: “How many apple store geniuses does it take to troubleshoot and fix an iPod?”
A: “None. After plugging it in, holding down a few buttons, and trying to tell you it works fine, they just give you a new one.”
…which works for me. Two more brightly shirted people later we had a new iPod, a new case for it, and exited the Apple Store.
To those who missed the joke, lol cats is referring to the Mac operating system naming convention (ie: Tiger, Leopard, Snow Leopard). Can has werkin iPod, plz? Ktnxbye.
To those who see this as an opportunity to turn the comments into a Macs are better than PCs discussion, I am not interested in your fandom. I work with MacOSX, Windows, and various Linux distributions every day, and I do not have fandom attached to any OS or computer brand.
If you are personally offended by my poking fun, then you need to get a sense of humor. Ktnxbye.
Someone at work the other day had the audacity to imply that women had it better because of the variety of clothing we get to chose from. When I get up in the morning exhausted and have at most an hour to get out the door, believe me, the last thing I want to think about is how to match up this variety. Does the color, pattern, and cut match? Will I be too cold? Is this somewhat see through (and if so, do I have a clean white bra?)? I can’t wear that shirt with that bottom, I need a longer shirt or a higher cut of pants. Damn it, those are two different shades of blue.
Variety isn’t what I’m thanking of when I’m faced with the daunting task of clothes shopping on a budget for practical, versatile clothing. I want something I can wear often, not be too uncomfortable in, look decent in, not have to wear something under, and won’t fall apart if I put it in a washer (I *will* hang dry as a compromise, but who has the resources to hand wash their clothes?). Variety means you could potentially buy a piece of clothing that can be only worn with a certain other set of clothing to not look stupid.
I don’t need to look “damn” even a fraction of the time in my world. I still don’t want to look stupid. That bar is higher for women, with pressure from both men and other women. If a guy wears something stupid, it not only okay because he’s a guy, but it might be kind of cute or endearing.
I like guy’s clothing. Too bad it doesn’t fit women correctly. That doesn’t mean I don’t own and wear men’s clothing if I like it enough. It’s elegant in its simplicity. It’s really hard to screw up or not find something when shopping. It’s very practical and spans seasons and occasions easily. If there are designs or logos, they’re more often subtle or of cool things. Too boot, the sizes even make sense. Hallelujah.
Women’s sizes… for pants I wear an 11/12. What does that mean? I have no idea. As it is, I have a lot of 13/14 too. Why are they /? I don’t know. What waist size and pant length does that equal? Well, there must be some algorithm based on brand, style, and those arbitrary numbers with the /. Women hackers are working on it as you are reading this. If you are a woman who is (what some person somewhere decided) ‘a bit tall’ or ‘a little short’ (or someone has determined your waist size is inconsistent to your leg length), you’re pretty much screwed or need to become a seamstress. Some pants have little bits of leeway. You can get a 11/12 tall. How tall? Well the amount you’re supposed to be if your ass is that size and you’re taller, duh!
Do you like pockets? Someone thinks women don’t, because half of my pants don’t have them (though they may be styled to look like they do).
So, if pants are complicated, don’t get me started on shirts. Guys have short sleeve and long sleeves. Women have those, and three quarter sleeves. Guys have crew or v-neck. Women have every cut imaginable, including square. I mentioned see through shirts above, and I’m not joking when I say you have to check to make sure before you buy a shirt (or skirt, unless you want to purchase and coordinate a matching slip*).
There are all kinds of additional shit people like to put on shirts and bottoms too. Dumb designs aren’t the half of it. Shoulder pads, body suit attachments, beads, sequins, fringe, fur, shininess, fake pockets, fuzzies, and whatever else they just decided was in, or was in at some point. Every year some other stupid trend comes along. Last summer, for the life of me I could not find a tank top that wasn’t long enough to be a dress. Some women don’t have much curves around the waist, so maybe having a long tank top was okay. For me, having a shirt that needs to fit both my waist and but is a joke. It’s also silly. Why does my ass need to wear my fitted shirt?
Fitted clothing is a good idea if you have a sizing structure to match fits. Men come in enough varieties for body type. With curves, women have at least double the variation. With sizes so vague, how does someone find a fitted shirt that fits when the sizes are: x-small, small, medium, large, x-large (and some larges with more and more x’s). Most women take a small, medium, or large. Is someone trying to tell me that most women in the world have upper bodies that fit into 3 categories? Even a man knows (and maybe especially a strait man) that women’s breasts come in a variety of sizes and match up with a variety of stomachs.
I haven’t even touched on women’s shoes, belts, and purses. I didn’t even get into dresses. I feel I’ve gone far enough and just don’t want to go there right now.
I hate women’s clothing. It has nothing to do with my body either. I know that when I find a perfect fit (once in a life time) of something that isn’t some weird failed art project, I look good.
I can’t wait for the day it’s acceptable for men to wear any and all of women’s clothing. A few things will happen: women’s clothes will come in a wider variety and more accurate sizing. Also, men will understand how much of a pain in the ass it is and expect less of us. Maybe, women’s clothing will become more practical.
The empathy would also be nice. They will say, “Wow, pantyhose sucks. It’s itchy, it can get ruined by breathing on it too hard, and did I mention it’s itchy?”
And we’ll say, “Mmm-hmm.. damn strait.”
*slip – n. A skirt like thingy that goes under a skirt. Why one isn’t sewn into the skirts that need them is a mystery.