Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest for the SNES. One of the crappiest Final Fantasy games ever made has some of the crappiest writers and translators at the wheel.
A warning to those who don’t know eating flour provided by undead dinosaurs may be potentially hazardous: an adventuring career maybe isn’t for you. This has been a video game public announcement.
What kind of adjective is “flamerous”? It certainly isn’t English.
– – – – –
Gawn and Treye sat down together in a cafe in a the small, industrial city of Worner, sleepy in its wintry shell. They hadn’t seen each other in months, though they live but miles apart. Treye had been calling Gawn off and on for weeks- as well as everyone else she knows in the city with little luck. Even friends with which Treye knew nothing but good times seem to have moved on to somewhere or something new and exclusive. Treye was getting sick of being positive about her loneliness, and her desire to vent was fast overcoming the desire not drive Gawn away. It had been three days since Treye spoke to anyone other than customers at work and voicemail boxes of friends. All of her recent attempts to try and meet new people were met with polite but cold reactions or hopes of sex.
Treye was about to give up on humanity and the act of putting trust in people. Still, she reached out to Gawn on more time hoping she’d be proven wrong.
Gawn tried to reassure Treye but also has a hard time disagreeing with her assessments.
“In all trust there is the possibility for betrayal,” admits Gawn.
“Then it is better not to trust,” Treye stared into her cup of black tea, hunched over it as if huddling for warmth..
“But… without trust there is no real friendship, no closeness, none of the emotional bonds that make life worth living…” Gawn lists passionately.
“These are the experiences and feelings that make up life itself,” agrees Treye.
“Exactly,” Gawn slapped the table, glad to be getting through.
“So… you put yourself at risk, and do so knowingly and willingly.”
“…every single time,” admitted Gawn, smiling.
“How do you know when to trust others and when to trust your doubt?” Treye pushes herself and her tea further across the table towards Gawn, “How can you separate paranoia from a real, deserving lack of trust?”
“Hopefully you trust yourself over others before the knife ends up in your back. Other than that, I really can’t give you an answer. Some people trust others until they give them sure reason not to. Some will even forgive and extend trust again and again.”
“How does one find a trustworthy individual?” Gawn seemed to have all the answers, and Treye hoped she could pull some to apply to her own life.
“The same way one finds an honest man.”
“What?”
“I’m saying, one doesn’t. The capacity for betrayal is within all of us.”
“Not me,” Treye denied without a hint of pride or happiness at the proclamation.
“If that’s true, then I pity you. You are doomed to a lifetime of expectations that no one can fulfill and things given that no one can reciprocate.”
“Perhaps there is something wrong with me,” Treye squeezed the ceramic mug, “Sometimes I suspect I am not human.”
“Oh, you’re human all right- human enough to feel betrayed, rejected, isolated, like no one understands you-”
“So, I’m just a whiny cliche?” Treye chuckled at herself without a bit of humor.
“No, just human: individual, but part of a common experience of common emotions.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. People don’t feel the same way,” Treye paused, thinking before finding the words to explain, “Sure, we all get sad or angry, but one person’s depression is barely another person’s sadness. The same sad person maybe feels barely any anger”
“How would you know?”
“I know when I react honestly and deeply, there are times I’m told I should be in a mental institution or on a drug.”
“Yes… I guess some people are… sensitive,” Gawn conceded.
“And I’ve met other… sensitive… people and have found they understand me better, but are perhaps even more selfish that the norm. The can be more unsympathetic.”
“They’re trying and protect themselves maybe?”
“I could think of many reasons. In the end, it just is. The sensitive person is a victim in a cycle of their own creation making themselves more the victim by throwing themselves under trucks and into fires- that is unenjoyable, but comfortably selfish: the attention they attract, the band aid of other’s pity and self pity. Other people become competition,” Treye shakes her head bitterly.
“And you’re different..?”
“Yes. I know I hurt myself by giving trust to those who don’t deserve it, by not being able to connect with people that would treat me better, but I don’t advertise it like a beacon hoping for those to flock to me to ease the pain as well as allow it to continue so the flock stays.”
“Maybe you should. Maybe you just don’t because you’re afraid they won’t come.”
“No, I’m afraid of being disgusting and weak like them. I’m afraid of my own guilt,” admitted Treye.
“Oh, so bottle it up inside and try hard not to trust those you want to. There’s a logical solution,” Gawn rolled his eyes and nibbled at the left over crumbs of his scone.
“I guess I’m caught in a bit of a paradox.”
“If your values weren’t mixed up in this, I’d have a solution: throw your honesty, integrity, pride, loyalty out the door… Just be and accept.”
“What, like them? Those people don’t accept anything- they live in constant delusion. I’d rather be miserable than delude myself,”
“Would you rather be lonely than to try to trust again? To never connect or know someone else again?” Gawn was getting frustrated.
“It doesn’t matter much what I want. I’m lonely either way. Trust gives darkness a face to whisper to at least.”
“For a bit of pity for you?”
“No. Connection. For real, honest connection. Not ‘I feel bad for you’, but ‘I know what you mean, and hang in there.’.”
“You’re talking about wanting someone to care, understand, and accept you as you are,” Gawn was trying the best to be understanding and sympathetic, but was seeing the circular logic Treye was caught in.
“Yes. And I know I will find it again. It’s just painful knowing it never lasts. At the next inconvenient moment the connection ceases.”
“Um… can we maybe talk about this some other time? I mean, it’s been good talking but… I just have a lot of stuff to do, you know?” Gawn got up to leave. He put forth a forced smile and mentally asked for forgiveness.
“Yes. I understand. I know. Goodbye.”
Treye and Gawn never saw each other again.
