This is at first thought- a first draft- so please ignore the spelling mistakes and cross outs.
Tag Archives: art
Ugly Man
Ugly Man With Huge Penis Usure How to Get the Word Out
AUBURN, ME – Overweight and balding Ira Groff, 37, is unsure how to get the word out about his 11-inch penis. “In theory, I could fumble around in my wallet for something and then- whoops!- and extra-large condom fall out,” acne-scarred Groff said Monday. “But that would come off as staged.” Groff has also pondered wearing tighter pants, leaving the penile-reduction-surgery brochures around his workspace, or sporting a large button that reads, “Ask Me About My Huge Cock.”
Burden
Keep the promises you make to yourself.
Top Words Causing Giggles Among Pre-Teens
2% Parts
1% Slot
15% Ball-peen hammer
8% Mastication
7% Receptacle
16% Titulal archbishopric
13% Pu-pu platter
5% Abreast
11% Lake Titicaca
12% Penal system
6% Opening
4% Moist
Top-Selling Novelty Condoms
1. Adams Joke Company Black-Ink, Hot-Pepper & Itching Condom Three-Pak
2. Edible “Exotic Flavors of the Midwest” Condom- Available in Corn, Bacon, or Beef.
3. Smith & Wesson .38 Snubnose Police Special
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Passion
Red Cover
So, now that I am gainfully employed I have purchased a scanner with a lovely hinge that allows me to scan books. This will change the way I blog since as much as I love to write, I love to draw, paint, and collage. I collect pieces of things in my life and stow them away for future collages and journals. The results you will start seeing more and more on The Seize. Enjoy- and feel free to comment as always!!
Waywards Wandering – Chapter 4: Knowing Everything, A Screen Shot For Every Post
Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Pools of Radiance (PC version) – Unlike the NES version of this game, the Commadore 64, Atari St, and PC versions allowed you to customize the character portraits and map icons. They also supported trans gendered characters. :) This dwarf is hot!
I’m changing the post format so I will be giving you a screen shot of something wonderful every post (likely a video game scene). I was dedicating whole posts to many at a time, but why not hoard them and let them trickle out so you may appreciate each one like the work of art it is?
Now continues the story of a large walking lizard and his pet monk. Click here to see all of the story so far.
– – – – –
That morning Kanji and Deathwish stood outside the temple packed for the road. They were now well rested and well fed. Father Salane was also generous enough to donate supplies and a small sum of money from the temple stores. Father Salane in turn charged that they help rid the world of its ills and watch over Lashea.
Where is she? At this rate we’ll loose the whole morning, Deathwish had begun the morning in high spirits but was fast growing irritated as his shadow grew shorter.
Kanji started to open his mouth in Lashea’s defense, but quickly stopped. Kanji could imagine that leaving home for the first time was difficult, as he remembered doing it himself many years ago. He could understand why Lashea was late, trying to say goodbye to everyone and everything she knew perhaps forever.
On the other hand, Deathwish wouldn’t understand such a comment if Kanji had made it, since he never got a chance to say goodbye to his home before being torn from it and plunged into this world. Kanji stood as Deathwish paced, silently praying to Brihaad. He opened his eyes when he finally heard the temple doors open and slam shut.
“Sorry I’m late,” huffed Lashea jogging to Kanji’s side, “I underestimated how long it would take me to pack,” On Lashea’s back was a huge, bulging backpack that looked as if it were about to rip under the strain of its contents. Packed aside it was her large sword, on top were rolled blankets, and pots and pans attached jangling at her side. From her belt she sported three large belt pouches which jangled and bounced off her thighs as she jogged up to her new companions.
“What’s that horrible smell?” she asked coming to stand by Kanji and Deathwish.
Kanji sighed and glanced at Deathwish, not even having to hear his unhappy thoughts. He then smiled at Lashea as kindly as he could manage and pointed at her back, “Um, what’s all of this?”
“They are my things, of course,” replied Lashea, confused.
“Lashea,” Kanji put on a gentle tone, “we’re going to be traveling a long way on foot. You’re not going to want to carry all of that. I’m sure there are things in there that you don’t need.”
Lashea bristled at what she interpreted as a condescending tone. She strode up to Kanji, and purposely looked down at him at an exaggerated angle being a full head taller than the monk, “I think I’m more than capable at determining what I do and don’t need. All I have are my clothes, books, bedding, money, food, eating utensils, dishes, pots, soap, hairbrush-”
Two rules: you carry it. If you can’t, you leave it behind without complaint, Deathwish turned away and started walking down the steps of the temple, his claws clicking on the stone, pulling his cowl into place.
Kanji looked up at Lashea, “Just consider how you would fight a monster so encumbered.”
Lashea merely stared at that point, brows furrowed, arms crossed, “Well, I’d put the pack down of c-”
While the monster waited for you to be ready! Speaking of monsters waiting for people to be ready, let’s get a move on, shall we?
“I’ll be back in a minute,” Lashea muttered, her face bright red with anger or embarrassment, Kanji was not sure. She turned around and rushed back into the temple. Kanji heard a chuckle coming from up above and looked up to see Clavus laughing and shaking his bald head.
“Be patient with her, you two. Remember, none of us started out knowing everything. That took some time.”
Kanji digested the irony of his words and realized they were likely aimed at the annoyed Deathwish who walked, talons clicking, back up the temple stairs. Kanji smiled and nodded at the plump priest and waited for Lashea, Deathwish remaining silent and managing to stand still.