I’m supposed to understand your feigned confusion
at why I’ve moved on to try to find fusion,
find something that I thought we had until you ended.
I should stay solitary for you, ripped, raw, rendered.
I should let you play victim and pretend to play the victor.
My prize is that I lose you all over again, this time as a friend.
My reward is an uncertain something with a someone that could end.
Sometimes when I’m done training, I feel like a bobble head,
during a training, a sloth versus monkey.
The fish out of water, the kid in the corner,
the under dog, too old for new tricks, stolen thunder,
two seconds too late, over thinking what should calm contemplate,
the beginners mistakes, lessons sticking and slipping away.
Some things I enjoy, I have a natural talent in.
Some, I lag behind in.
On rare occasion, I have to remind myself I do it for the fun,
train for the challenge,
compete with myself no matter who is on the mat with me.
Colorblind to the belt, immune to the envy,
sometimes a single sweep a victory,
or just the heart I have to try and be here.
Sometimes when I’m done training, I feel like a better me,
who is never done training.
Reflections of Him
When I see the forgotten words
it makes me wonder
seeing new worlds
why my mind is split asunder
by your torn glance.
It makes me week to think what I missed
while I chased your smile away.
I bade ye stay here to preserve mine
and keep these demons at bay.
My honesty left
and so did yourself
and if there be truth
I think I may lose myself
chased by your confusion
I need to nurture this illusion.
encase.
uproot ice
in permafrosted
amber-encasing
the long forgotten
CelesTrial
Selene doth not wait
for those whose plans take
time to irrigate
With dry mouth
parched lips
pressed to
parchment
let thirst be sated
by the moon’s
tides
let grow
and be
what is
FATED
Closer we fall inward to forever clutching fleeting faces
touching the nape of my neck and holding tender too tight.
Your teasing whispers testing passions, telling me it’s all right
saying all the while by your stance and smile
as we get closer, we can fade- things can change.
People drift and people flail, I look for footing but know I will fail
and fall again, the wind whipping past, looking to the past and bidding it not repeat.
I stand on two feet, fearing the fall, knowing the fall, seeing the fall
tipping to the edge and facing your face and taking your embrace and tumble
caress, holding to my breast a place and a feeling- comforting touch caring outside of time,
sensual touch taring and taking what’s mine,
together touch, taking steps as two equals together in time
fairing well in the silent hope that the weather will hold as we hold tight together under night.
We fold our fears in tight so their small packages are tucked in each others’ arms
out of sight and out of mind as we mind nothing but he banter and the bubbling over
the falls splashing down, the excitement plummets into the base of my stomach, creeping to my fingers, extending to touch your lips as they laugh ideas and smile sentiments into my ears.
Rolling down the rapids, drifting down the steady trickle not knowing if the current will bring us closer or carry us apart.