Favorite Mega Man Bosses

One of these Mega Man Bosses must be your favorite, and I’ve given you all the reasons why one of them should be. I’ve omitted the X series, because let’s face it, gems like Frost Walrus and Web Spider deserve their own list.

Air Man – Mega Man 2

  • Air beats metal kind of like paper beats rock.
  • Make fun all you want… they later redid this idea with Wind Man. If they did it twice, it must be a great idea…

Blizzard Man – Mega Man 6

  • He is a snow making machine.
  • Few other bosses have hobbies suited for well adjusted robots like skiing.

Bomb Man – Mega Man 1

  • One of the few robots Wily made that make some actual sense…
  • Bomb man: smart enough to bring bombs to a gun fight.

Bright Man – Mega Man 4

  • Light bulbs are so hard to break, and that’s why they made a boss robot out of one of them.
  • At least they didn’t call him Bulb Man.
  • Light bulbs, or brightness, apparently can stop time.
  • He’s a lame rip off of Flash Man who also somehow stopped time using light.

Bubble Man – Mega Man 2

  • Bubble Man is into bubbles, which is why he has so many spikes in his level. I wonder why Iceman didn’t have flames in his.
  • Bubbles beat metal kind of like… …never mind.
  • Bubble Man’s stage music was one of the best.

Burst Man – Mega Man 7

  • He is the embodiment of mega man innuendo.
  • Burst Man is Bubble Man once he’s all grown up.

Centaurman – Mega Man 6

  • From Bright Man and Flash Man we get the impression that light can stop time. No. You have it all wrong. Centaurness stops time.

Crystal Man – Mega Man 5

  • Let’s face the facts together here… this sounds like a drug reference.

Cut Man – Mega Man 1

  • He wears the body of PacMan upon his head, who flies at people.
  • The PacMan on his head can cut through metal.

Dust Man – Mega Man 4

  • There are few things more threatening than dust (ACHOO!).
  • His attack is not dust, it’s sucking. He sucks. He sucks so much. And guess what he’ll do to Mega Man?

Flash Man – Mega Man 4

  • What’s the big deal? It’s not like Dr. Wily gave him any anatomy to flash.

Gemini Man – Mega Man 3

  • Hey, man, what’s your sign?
  • Obviously, he’s related to the statue of liberty (look it up if you don’t believe me).
  • This boss surprisingly makes sense.

Guts Man – Mega Man 1

  • He sounds like he should be a horror freak, made out of guts.
  • Some translator thought the word guts meant really strong apparently.
  • For some reason, it’s plural. YES!

Gyro Man – Mega Man 5

  • He needs more Tzatziki sauce in my opinion, but other than that is quite good.

Hard Man – Mega Man 3

  • Hard Man is right with Burst Man in the innuendo category.
  • He’s better named than, “You Can’t Beat Me Nyah-Nyah Man”.

Junk Man – Mega Man 7

  • Wily obviously made him out of cast off parts, broken dreams, and dumb ideas, which at least makes him environmentally friendly.

Napalm Man – Mega Man 5

  • I mentioned how Wily had a moment of clarity when he made Bomb Man. This is the second moment of clarity. Not air, not bubbles, NAPALM

Pharaoh Man – Mega Man 4

  • Wait… What?

Ring Man – Mega Man 4

  • If you date him, he will win you the stuffed panda bear in the ring toss game at the carnival.

Shade Man – Mega Man 7

  • Robot vampire? Well, it doesn’t make any sense, but then again, neither do sparkling vampires.

Sheep Man – Mega Man 10

  • He can turn into cute, dangerous pink clouds.

Tomahawkman – Mega Man 6

  • Hey, look, it’s embarrassingly politically incorrect and pretty racist man…

Top Man – Mega Man 3

  • Children’s toys make great boss weapons.

Yamato Man – Mega Man 6

  • None of us in the USA have any idea what a Yamato is.
  • Looking it up does not answer the question of why.

Valed

“This customer may be calling back. May you keep wrath in check should you get him.”

“I’m not much of a wrath person, more of a annoyance person. Feel my great annoyance and disdain valed by professionalism and smug feeling of superiority!”

“Veiled.”

“No, I’m obviously talking about a wide flood plain or flat valley bottom …in the past tense.”

In Honor of the Vaguely Heritage Based Drinking Holiday

Today’s screen shot is brought to you by Final Fantasy III, as emulated for Nintendo.

In honor of the vaguely heritage based drinking holiday last Wednesday, we present the tavern. Adventures begin here according to most fantasy-based games and literature, but besides that, it’s also where drinking begins, commences, ends, and begins again. Happy vaguely heritage based drinking holiday, everyone!