Inside the Storm


Gripping the fickle, it’s like a vice
been held a captive audience
fading fast, cold as ice
staring through mirrored glass,
past the laughs are other forms
huddling and hiding from the past
trying too hard to last the norm.
That one moment of contact stretches,
breaks at the drop of a hat,
turns around and fetches
another face to fill that
hole that never fills fully
and empties out again.
Let go and into storm I’m riding
struggling to take hold amidst them
when there is nothing to hold onto
except hold each other hiding.
Drift and struggle inside the storm
perpetuate the myth
to function fully and feel the norm
to find purpose in being adrift.
I try to turn away
from the faces and labels
Eddie away from the names
and change the only things
that ever stay the same.
I would stand on two feet
if I wasn’t in fear of falling
I’ll meet you far after
I hear you calling
And let go again whatever we are.

Clan of Walmart

Walmart is scary, and so are many of the people who shop there. They’ll run you over if they see ‘roll backs’ in the prices on soda water. They’ll eat you if they mistake you for a cheese product. They carry germs, disease, and do not know how to control their crazy crying brats who will spread said diseases.

The one by my apartment is huge. You could easily get lost in there for all eternity. The first time I was ever there was with my family. They had to ‘pick up a few things’. I lost them about five minutes in, couldn’t find them or what I was looking for, and left a few hours later with bags full of stuff I’d never associate the words ‘had to’ with.


Even funnier is that this replaced what used to be referred to as “Small Mart”. It was miniature, barely a Walmart. It had nothing you wanted or needed, but you always went back.

Knights of Xentar armor
I avoid it whenever possible, but on the few occasions I’ve broken down and gone, I need moral support. I usually take my little brother as a shield. The way he drives a cart, everyone knows not to get too close, lest they be taken out.

We make it an adventure… going into enemy territory. The mighty clan of Walmart will not defeat us. We will escape with our lives. Even a trip to the Christmas Tree Shop can be survived if you prepare properly. Just remember, always go into your sub screen and equip your armor!

Screen shot… Dragon Knight 3: Knights of Xentar (PC).

Settling

I’m beginning the process of settling into my new job. I’m starting to get the hang of the flow and learn names. I’m learning about the people I’ll be working with closely and they’re not scary at all. Almost all of them mutter and talk to themselves while staring at the computer screen like I do. They work hard, but they also laugh pretty easy.

I’m busy with class and the job and don’t see myself having as much time to put together posts. Rather than not post, I would prefer to post smaller and even less refined.

I still would like to include amusing video game screen shots with every post, but I don’t see that happening. I likely will end up posting just screen shots with captions every so often.

I have been enjoying the thoughts people have been sharing and the discussions that have been happening, and I’d hate to lose that. Thanks to Massif, Tao Cowboy, and SteveJ, this place has been fun and lively as of late. I just want to make certain they, and anyone who posts, knows I enjoy and appreciate you for making this so much more entertaining and rewarding.

For Tomorrow

Worse than living for tomorrow is constantly feeling guilty or inadequate about the recent or far past. Evaluate and work for a better tomorrow. No one gets everything perfect the first time, and everyone needs time to adjust to new situations. Being hypercritical of yourself is just going wear at your self esteem. It will make you not have the confidence you deserve that will push you to do the work you’re more than capable of.

And don’t be afraid to ask for help, especially if you can gain a better understanding for all the next times. You can use the time you saved by not struggling on your own to offer help in the future.

The ones who should feel guilty or inadequate are the ones who take no risks and never try to raise the bar for themselves. The only dumb questions are left unasked.

Don’t let yourself hold yourself back. Above all, learn and grow.

Today VS Tomorrow

Final Fantasy 6 Son of a Submariner
Here is a tip to all the young, aspiring bad guys out there. To be a truly crazy, evil, and scary villain, try addressing the protagonist (as he gets away in a castle submerging into the desert) like so. Only then will you show your evil wit. Take it from Kefka of Final Fantasy 3/6 (SNES/Playstation).

It gets old trying to predict the future. I enjoy working on things for the future, it’s the expecting and trying to make things turn out a certain way that can be a bit grating. I try to live keeping in mind that people die in silly, unbelievable ways ‘before their time’ all the time. Even if you’re taking care of the ‘macrocosm’ of your life, the big picture, if you forget about the ‘microcosm’, all the moments that make up your day (and essentially you) then you’re missing out on life. As helpful as a crystal ball could be, it’s not the point.

Trying for tomorrow is great, but no matter what we work for or how hard we try, it can be a bit of a problem to expect things to work out as a result. I encountered that in a rather big way when my big long term plans for Virgina did not work out and I ended up in back in Mass. I saved a lot of money the summer before for the move (and all the things that went with it). I was looking forward to it even before that, when I was in Newcastle, “It’s gonna be so great!”.

My eggs were mostly in that basket. I’m glad I managed to make time for fun this past summer, maybe my last summer in Portland ever. I had living situation issues, but then I just made sure I was gone from my living space and with friends as often as possible. I miss the guys and gals I hung with (my P-land pals), even the people I worked with and the job itself. I miss it in a nostalgic way, however, not a ‘now sucks’ manner. I also don’t regret working so hard because I did make time for fun. I’m trying to make it so I can look back fondly on this time too some day.

Just keep going. It’s all we can do. Work for tomorrow, but live for today knowing tomorrow could still up and decide it has other plans for you.

Brits Eat..?

spotted dick in a can
My original thought was that I needed to come up with something in honor of Gary Gygax now that he has passed on to that campaign setting in the sky. This may still happen after I’ve finally come to accept its truth. Until then, I’ve made some startling discovery at what our friends the British apparently eat.

As a disclaimer, yeah, McDonalds is from over here and it’s gross. I’m sure there are other nasty things that make it out of our borders that I don’t eat, like Jello. As far as I’m concerned, none of it comes even remotely close to what I have discovered…

1. Spotted Dick: This is one I’d actually heard of. What I didn’t know is that it comes in a can. Also horrifying is that on this can it says you can microwave it. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME, because last I checked metal cans and microwaves don’t mix. I knew this, but didn’t know the extent of it until my little sister blew up the microwave trying to make Jello one day.

I have not tried spotted dick, but one of my friends has (see photographic evidence). Let’s see what she has to say on the matter:
eating spotted dick

“It’s as good as can be expected considering it’s cake from a can cooked in boiled water…”

I think that’s as good a review as we’re going to get.

2. Mr. Brain’s 4 Pork Faggots in a Rich West Country Sauce: I barely know where to begin. I am trying to figure out what about this meal is a faggot. I am searching my definitions… homosexual man? No. Bundle of sticks? Nope. Measuring those bundles of sticks? No again. Cigarette? Uh-uh. All right… I’m just going to have to assume that one of these weird meatballs is also known as a faggot.

Pork Faggots

My next question is what is so west about this sauce. The spotted dick friend tells me: “…the West Country (where my Brit ancestors originally hailed from) is a region of England.” This is good to know, but it tells me little about the sauce. Another friend who tried the ‘faggots’ recalled the experience like a horror story. She had this to say on the matter:

“I shudder to remember. This was back when I was eating meat, but no amount of creepy processed fast-food spaaaaaaaaaace meat could have prepared me for this. Pork faggots are basically these meat balls made not out of what we would typically define as “meat”, but instead is ground up pig’s liver and possibly some other organs covered in some disgusting gravy. Ugggh!”

So far, spotted dick in a can is better than microwavable Mr. Brain’s pork faggots.

Toad in the Hole
3. Toad In The Hole: So… you put sausages in “Yorkshire pudding” batter and bake ’em. Now I’m out of willing candidates to try these things, but my spotted dick friend did have this to say:

“Oh, SHIT, Toad in the Hole? That looks terrible. TERRIBLE.”

Brits need to stop taking their sausages and putting them in everything! …

…!

…we’ve already mentioned spotted dick, so I’m sure that couldn’t have sounded much worse.

Also on the subject of Brits and sausage…

4. Black Pudding: It’s sausage made with congealed blood. Brits like sausage apparently, and need variations.

5. Brawn apparently is a sausage form of head cheese. This has nothing to do with cheese, but everything to do with a head of a calf, pig, or sheep. It also can contain meat from the feet or heart. It’s even eaten cold. At least then we won’t smell it if someone reheats it. Thank heavens for small favors. I am not posting a picture as I’m afraid to try and find one.

Alright. This is about as much on the subject I can look into right now. If any Brits are out there reading this, we could use some insight into your cuisine. I for one, don’t get it. This is coming from someone who loves sushi, so I’m thinking the average American would be even more lost.

I guess my biggest questions are, do you actually eat this stuff, eat it often, and like it? …or is this just food propaganda that makes it across the borders to frighten us? I mean, there’s fish and chips, and that’s great.

Inquiring minds in the U.S. want to know!