Dominic Deegan & The Fourth

Guess who I sat next to all day and into the evening on the Charles River?

http://www.dominic-deegan.com/view.php?date=2010-07-05

“I drew today’s comic while sitting on the Esplanade in Boston yesterday. It was my attempt to continue an old Fourth of July holiday tradition where my friends gather on the shore of the Charles River and relax all day long until the fireworks light up the night sky.

I was the only one of my friends there this year. Still, I got some sun, got some work done (as much as was possible in the blistering heat) and made some new friends who were not only nice enough to keep me company but made sure I was nice and hydrated as well. Thanks John, Cindy, George, Francine, Alonzo and little Isabella.”

Yes. I’m that Cindy who insisted that our fair web comic hero drink our water.

On the flip side, we played Apples to Apples and Settlers of Catan while I broke out into hives from the sun. The fireworks were even more amazing than last year. A lot happens in a year. While I was watching the fireworks in the same place with many of the same people, we had changed.

The Boy was there; even though he and I have been split since the beginning of last October. It sounds like it’s the last time I’ll see him, however. Apparently I missed the memo that I’m not allowed to continue my pursuit of happiness and companionship after he dumped me. I’m seeing someone we’re both friends with and he’s decided this bothers him. He managed to take it out on a friend of ours more than me who is in no way involved. Classy.

Before anyone jumps to conclusions, we’ve been good enough not to kiss and whatnot when we’re around him. But apparently even just our meaningful glances and an arms around me as the fireworks went off was too much for him.

He wants to be the victim right now. He says we’re no longer friends.

I guess I’m supposed to pretend he didn’t dump me and that it hasn’t been many, many months since. I should feel we did something wrong and let him wallow. He tried to tell me we were being inappropriate, but hugging just doesn’t really capture the menace of what we did. He tried to make it sound like this was new or sneaky when its not. He’s known, but now it bothers him.

I don’t know why now. I don’t know why we even tried to be friends after at all. I told him I was going to pursue this guy and I did exactly that. I told him that I thought he’d hate me for it and he insisted that he might be a bit mad at first but he’d get over it. He insisted we’d still be friends.

So now comes the part where he either disappears from all social gatherings or tries to make it so I’m not welcome at them. This shouldn’t involve our mutual friends, but it will. That bothers me a lot.

I’m just trying to figure out where me and the guy that I AM seeing are, and instead I’m dealing with someone who dumped me quite awhile ago. I know it sounds like good riddance, but it’s like being dumped all over again. I am very loyal to my friends and I don’t take losing them well.

I hate to focus on the negative. The fireworks were amazing. The day was great fun. I stayed up into the wee hours of the morning with the guy I spent all day not kissing.

The good with the bad, it’s how the world works.

Fusion

I’m supposed to understand your feigned confusion
at why I’ve moved on to try to find fusion,
find something that I thought we had until you ended.
I should stay solitary for you, ripped, raw, rendered.
I should let you play victim and pretend to play the victor.
My prize is that I lose you all over again, this time as a friend.
My reward is an uncertain something with a someone that could end.